I had a really long and hard day so this post will not be as “exciting” as the ones I have done in the past. I started typing out something substantial but the weight of the day and the fact that I pulled a muscle in my chest proved to be kind of a buzz kill, so I am going to take the lazy way out and go back to the YouTube well.
Ah, Superman Peanut Butter. I know I had some as a kid but for the life of me I can’t remember how it tasted. I mean I’m sure it tasted like peanut butter because that would have been kind of a rip-off if it hadn’t. “Hey, Mike, we got you some Superman Peanut Butter!”
“But this tastes like cod liver oil and feet,”
“Don’t be silly, son. It’s peanut butter. With a Superman logo on the lid. Eat it.”
And another in a long line of psychological scars stemming from my childhood would have been born.
The thing that gets me about that commercial is the fact that the Dad is shown to be sneaking a taste. This bothers me on two levels. One, why wasn’t he at least using a spoon or knife, which is just gross and two, why was he having to sneak a taste in the first place? Are parents not allowed to eat the official peanut butter of the Man of Steel?
Do you get the feeling from this commercial that Superman hangs around grocery stores waiting to pimp his smooth and creamy peanut butter? I mean the Dad here was fine with his own brand but Superman had to go and butt in. Kind of makes you wonder what would have happened if the guy had said no.
DAD: Our brand is just fine.
SUPERMAN: Have you ever tried my delicious and wholesome peanut butter, sir?
DAD: No, but I’m sure it’s great. We’ll get it next time.
SUPERMAN: Are you sure you don’t want to try it? It’s creamy and smooth.
DAD: That’s fine, but we already have some peanut butter at the house, so we’ll get it next time. I promise.
SUPERMAN: What if there isn’t a next time?
SUPERMAN: Well, you know, sir, accidents happen all the time. It would be awful if something happened to your wife and daughter.
DAD: Are you…are you threatening me?
SUPERMAN: Not at all, sir. I am merely pointing out that on abandoned stretches of road things happen. Tires blow out. Tornadoes pop up. Meteors can fall and crush the life out of your spouse and your cute little girl. Or maybe you’re daughter is crossing the street and a car careens out of control. Or maybe your wife runs into a gang of hoodlums in the middle of the night. Sure would be a shame if my attention was elsewhere at the moment.
DAD: Okay, okay, okay. I’ll buy the damn peanut butter.
SUPERMAN: Good choice, sir. Now no one will get hurt.
SUPERMAN: Now everyone can enjoy my peanut butter. Good-bye.
Superman sure can be a jerk sometimes.
What is so top secret about this peanut butter that not only is Lex Luthor willing to torture Superman into revealing it’s secrets but that Superman won’t say something like, “We use fresh peanuts, that’s it.” Either Superman is hiding something about his peanut butter or Lex Luthor is a moron.
It’s a fifty/fifty shot really.
That’s it for today. I’ll have something more substantial tomorrow. Promise.
More to follow…