DC CHRISTMAS PLATE or MAN, I AM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL

I have a number of comments and observations pertaining to this issue.

Superman has a rather pleasant look on his face and is inviting Batman to come in.  Secretly he’s thinking, “Great Rao, Bruce, get that batarang out of your ass and join the Rao damn party.”

Why is Plastic Man giving Hal Jordan a back rub?

Plastic Man is also checking out Superman’s behind.  It’s why he wears the sunglasses, by the way.  That way he can just stare and stare and no one will notice.

Hawkman is not having a good time because Hawkman NEVER has a good time.

Hawkgirl is about five seconds from telling Carter that he needs to get the mace out of his ass and have a good time or so help her Ra she is leaving him and shaking up with Green Arrow.  She doesn’t care that Green Arrow is with Dinah because secretly Dinah’s into that kind of thing and Hawkgirl knows this.

Wonder Woman is enjoying herself because the pagan nature of the Christmas tree appeals to her upbringing.

Aquaman really wants to ask Zatana out.  Zatana doesn’t even know he’s alive.

Zatana…I really have nothing here.  Zatana is just having a good time and misses her Dad.  I mean he’s dead, right?  Has DC retconned that yet?

Captain Marvel doesn’t get any of the jokes that Ollie tells, but he laughs anyway so he doesn’t look like a dork.

Barry so wants to call him out on that.

Ollie is secretly thinking how awesome it would be to bag Hawkgirl and Black Canary at the same time and be part of a Pretty Bird Sandwich.

Dinah wants to leave Ollie for Hawkgirl.

What…in the hell…is Red Tornado drinking?

J’onn is on his fifth Manhattan and is getting to be a bit of a jerk.

Batman is thinking about how he is an orphan at Christmas time.  Because Batman is ALWAYS thinking about the fact that he is an orphan and everyone wants to tell him to knock that crap off but he has those files on how to kill them so they keep quiet and Batman really, really likes that.

Oh well, I think I’ve done enough today to ensure my place in Hell.  I swear my next two Christmas posts will be much more festive and not as snarky.

At least that’s the plan.

More to follow…

FORTRESS UPDATE! FLAMEBIRD AND NIGHTWING IN ACTION COMICS! NEW NIGHTING ACTUALLY CONNER KENT?

So last week I blew a fan gasket about Superman leaving Action Comics.  I threw out a few theories. Turns out one of them was right.  Here is a bit of what I wrote.

So we follow Superman in Superman and Action Comics becomes a showcase for either older heroes or newer ones.  With the mention of Nightwing and Flamebird3 in the solicitations it makes me curious as to whether or not they’re going to be the stars of Action.  I could be wrong on that.  It’s just a guess.  Maybe they’ll put all of the other characters that have had canceled series over the last two years into the book.  I’m a little fuzzy on that one.

Here are some quotes from a Newsarama interview with DiDio.

In Action, we’re going to see some major changes – Superman will not be featured in Action Comics. The stars of Action will be the new team of Flamebird and Nightwing. Flamebird is a character we’ve seen, but this is the first time we’re seeing her in costume. Nightwing is a character that we’ve known in the DCU for a little while, but he’s new to the Nightwing costume as well. The team on that book will be Greg Rucka with Eddy Barrows. Eddy will be moving over from Teen Titans.

Now – you’re going to be asking me two questions – and the question for me is, do I let you ask them and eat up your number of questions for this time, or do I go ahead and answer them before you ask them? I’ll do it myself, because I’d hate for you to use up your questions (laughs). The big question is where Geoff Johns and Gary Frank are going. They will be doing Superman: Secret Origin as a miniseries coming up later in the year. We decided to run that as its own miniseries, different from what Geoff just did in Green Lantern. It gives them a little more time to work it, they don’t have to struggle against the ongoing schedule, and it won’t throw off the triangles on the covers which keep track of the story. They’ll be doing the definitive origin of Superman as we’ve seen it all take place, and incorporating the changes that we’ve seen or suggested since Infinite Crisis.

With the Superman books following Infinite Crisis, we made some suggestions as to some of the changes that might be occurring within Superman’s origin and who he is. There were a lot of things that have been changed over a period of time, and what Geoff has done, what Geoff always does so well is that he incorporates so many of the various aspects of Superman’s origin to what I feel is really a clean, definitive take on the character as he exists today, and more importantly, how we will continue to present him in the years to come.

The John Byrne changes were important and strong when they occurred back in the ‘80s, and I feel that Geoff’s origin is going to make that same imprint now, for 2009 and past that.

All right.  Here is where I have to do something I really don’t want to do.

I have to admit that I flew off the handle.

I seriously jumped the gun and should have just taken a deep breath and waited to see what the actual deal was.

I was the worst kind of fanboy.

I really have to try and not have this happen again.

Does this mean I take back everything I wrote in that post?  No.  But as far as flying off the handle I should just give it a day or two and then write about it.

Sigh.

Everything he describes in the article sounds so freaking awesome.

I’m going to go do some house work now.

Though I do ask this question:

Is the new Nightwing  actually Conner Kent?

I mean he had the tactile telekinesis thing going on.

More to follow…

FORTRESS SUNDAY ROUND UP- 11/09/2008

Not much of a week to round up, actually.  I have been on vacation and therefore I haven’t done a whole heck of a lot.  This is the first week in over a month that I haven’t posted something everyday, so it was nice to take a few days off to just do nothing.

The Comics

Continue reading FORTRESS SUNDAY ROUND UP- 11/09/2008

YOUTUBE TUESDAY (11/04/2008)- ELECTION DAY EDITION

So it is Election Day here in the states, though frankly people have been voting for weeks so it kind of feels anti-climactic.  Call me old-fashioned but I’m big on things happening on the day they’re supposed to happen.  Voting early is kind of like opening your presents on December 15th, but then again if you have millions of presents to open you would probably want to get started early.

Anyhoo, I have a few politcially minded YouTube videos for you this Tuesday, the first is a classic from several years ago.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFvGAbWeNSQ

Ah, Cartoon Network.  Remember when you did funny stuff like that?  Or this?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGQEAiZJMco

Go ahead, say it.  “Solomon Grundy want pants too!”

You’ll laugh every…single…time.

Maybe General Zod would make a good President.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YbIxLhhsyo

Or Lex Luthor.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFHGnA98jDE

All right, both of those are horrible choices.

In any event I am off to vote.  I guess this is the part of the post where I am supposed to implore you to do the same but that seems preachy.  So vote, don’t vote.  It’s really up to you.

More to follow…

YOUTUBE TUESDAY (10/07/2008): SUPERMAN COLLECTION

Welcome to YouTube Tuesdays, a newish feature here at the Fortress where I take one day out of the week to showcase something I found on YouTube that I felt I just had to share.

Take that however you want to. It’s YouTube Tuesday because, well, they sort of rhyme.

I rarely get envious of another person’s collection.  That sort of thing just isn’t in me for some reason.  I am much more concerned about the junk I have.  I can appreciate when someone has some cool stuff, though, and this video shows one bad ass Superman collection.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwmykVgkUMM&feature=related

There’s a lof of stuff in there.  The video seems to cover the same material over and over again, but it is still all about some awesome.

That’s it for this week.  I’m sure I’ll have something to say tomorrow.

More to follow…

I’M BACK

Or maybe this post should be titled, The Sort of New, Kind of Different Fortress of Baileytude, as that would be more accurate.

Well, the week or so I took off was nice and I won’t promise daily postings, but for now it seems I have returned because this part of my life is tanned, rested and ready to talk some comics.

Actually two things brought me out, one of them being the release of not one but two episodes of Views From The Longbox last week.  I got in a groove of prepping the show notes the night before and then actually posting them the next morning and it felt right.  Looking at my schedule next week I believe I can do the same thing for this blog and while what I have to say may not be epic in scope I figure a little something is better than a whole lot of nothing.

The other thing that brought me back to this blog is something occurred to me while I was at work today.  I am not reading a whole heck of a lot of new comics lately.  I just can’t afford them at the moment and that fact doesn’t sadden me as it might have  a year or so ago.  It’s actually quite liberating. 

Continue reading I’M BACK